I know

there hasn't been a lot of love in these letters, mostly just complaining about the downs of pregnancy.  It's not that I'm not excited about or not incredibly in love with my tiny baby, it's just that sometimes it's easier for me to vent than to be smooshy- at least while writing.  It's always been easier for me to write the bad than the good.

But I cannot describe how amazing yesterday was.

We went down for baby appointment with Dr. Eastman for our 12 week check up.  It was busy so we waited for about an hour, which was fine because Paul was on hold with Catalina trying to cancel our reservations.  (Which ended up being a fail because they didn't even answer our call after two fricking hours.  And I'm still waiting to hear back from them... effers.)  We got ushered in, did the normal weight stuff, blood pressure, etc. and put in a room.  Dr. Eastman was there within a few minutes and started me up on one of those heartbeat detectors.  I was excited- but as she moved her little doo-hickey around there was nothing.  And then- nothing.

The panic set in fast.  I tend to have an overactive imagination and immediately imagine the worst so when there was no heartbeat all that I could think was that something went horribly wrong.  Dr. Eastman barely blinked and led us into the room with the ultrasound machine.  I was waiting for some cue of comfort from Paul but didn't seem to pick up on the fact that anything was wrong- in fact he didn't even realize that she was trying to get the baby's heartbeat.

Moment of truth- ultrasound machine has started up and she squirted at greenish gooey stuff all of my stomach.  And-

There's the baby!  Moving around like no tomorrow.

It's crazy how in four short weeks Emily/Anthony could grow from a jellybean/hamster type thing to a mini person with arms, legs, fingers, toes, face (complete with facial expressions!), and cute little bum (as Dr. Eastman said).  There was no question in my mind about the distinct presence of our baby's soul, complete with personality.  S/he was waving, kicking, and could not keep still at all!  It was an amazing experience, especially after assuming that there was something wrong.

The only bummer was that the baby was moving around too much for us to snag a good picture (which will be uploaded soon), in fact we were lucky enough to get Emily/Anthony to hold still enough to get a heartbeat reading!

I can't wait for our next appointment, especially since that puts us so close to being able to find out the gender!  A lot of people have come out of the wood works to give us advice- some saying to get gender and some saying to let it be a surprise but Paul and I are ready to solve the great gender debate ASAP!

So excited :D


  1. I hate the scare you get when the doc can't find the heartbeat! Can't wait to find out what you are blessed with <3

  2. Me too! Just 8 more weeks and we'll know!