"I’m participating in the Keeping LOVE in LENT Blog Link-Up 2013, hosted by
Raising (& Teaching) Little Saints, Truly Rich Mom and Arma Dei: Equipping Catholic Families. We'll be sharing different ways, tips, stories and real-life experiences that will help us focus on Lenten sacrifices, prayer and good deeds, and how to carry them out with LOVE instead of a GRUMBLE. Please scroll down to the end of the post to see the list of link-up entries.”
I want to start an antique teacup collection.
I've been thinking about this for awhile. Every time I meander into an antique shop, I peruse the teacups. I don't want a set, I went a mess of mismatched beauty riddled with memories of teatimes past. But I'm apprehensive. I'll find a beautiful cup and be certain that I should make it mine. Then the worry sets in. What if it's not the right one? What if it's haunted? What if it's not meant to be?
That's a lot of whatifs for a teacup.
Sometimes that's how I feel about life. There are things I desperately want to do: go to grad school, finish my book, build a desk, start a garden, make a friend. But I hold myself back, afraid of what might come. I'm fraught with insecurities, desperately trying to wrap them in an air of confidence so that no one might suspect. I'm terrified that someone will realize the series of self questioning and doubt that exists inside me, and know me for exactly who I am.
I think that's the beautiful thing about Lent. It's humbling, self reflective. It's an opportunity to look within ourselves and draw out the good, banishing negativity and insecurity. That's one of the things I'm trying to do this year. I want to be willing to say yes, Mary's yes. The yes that comes with no clear future, nothing back. That's part of the reason I find myself very involved this Lenten season- in liturgical plays, youth choirs, adult choirs, in prayer groups, in classes to enrich my faith. I'm getting myself a bigger plate, and I'm appreciating everything I put on it, as everything is an opportunity to serve the Lord and come to know Him more fully, and coming to know myself.
I want to be filled with good things, the sweet tea of faith and love and God. But to do that, I have to be empty. I have to scrub away the dust from years of insecurity and empty myself of all my no's, all my whatifs, all my why's. I need to be open to the life God wants me to lead, and I have forty days to set a standard within myself and follow through. I don't see Lent as suffering. I don't see Lent as an awful period in which we don't eat chocolate and recess in absolute silence. Lent is the quiet place in which we find love again, and remember why we spend our Sunday mornings in mass and every evening in prayer.
Christ died purely out of love for us. It wasn't for the remembrance or the fame or because it was a Friday and He didn't have great plans for the weekend, He died so that we might live in love, and continue to love into the next life. He died so we might have teacups and babies and doubts that He could lift away and carry for us onto the cross. He died for us. What is it for us to spend forty days in reverence and preparation for His sacrifice? What is it for us to spend one hour a week on Sunday in remembrance of His unending love? In exchange for an eternity, it's nothing, a raindrop in a storm.
How are you keeping the love in lent?
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