It's Okay


Being a woman is hard.  We are pulled in so many different directions, it's easy for us to forget ourselves.  We work, we play, we cook, we clean, we grow and raise tiny humans.  We nurture, we love, we begrudge, we forgive, we forget.  We do this all for those around us, but what do we do for ourselves?

Usually nothing. 

I have been one of those mothers.  I am love my husband and my son.  Saying I need time for myself often quakes me with guilt.  It makes me feel like a bad person for not wanting to spend every second with the loves of my life.  So for over a year, I have kept myself home so that I don't miss a second of my son's life.  I wrap myself in the blanket of motherhood and I wear it every second of every day.  Sometimes, I need to shed that blanket.



And that's okay.  It's okay to want, to need time for myself.  In fact, it's necessary.  It allows me to remember who I am.  It allows me to relax, to feel good about myself, to be independent.  It makes me a better mother, it makes me a better wife, it makes me a better person.

I don't take much.  Three hours a week is all I truly ask for, to bask in the escapism of my writer's group, to feel like my own person, instead of being pulled in a thousand different directions.  When I come back, I am rejuvenated, I am happy, I am more willing to serve.  It's started a domino affect in my life.  Partially because of Lent, and my desire to say yes.  Partially because I'm no longer afraid to spend time away.  I'm singing again.  I'm writing again.  I'm praying again.

That's not to say my son doesn't make me happy.  That's not to say I don't want to spend time with him or my husband or my family.  That's not to say they don't deserve all my love and attention.  They are my whole world, these men.  They deserve the best of me.  To give them that, I have to be my best.

I don't tell much in this blog.  I write for myself, and for God. I don't claim to be perfect, or an expert on anything. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but I'm telling you now:  

Fall in love with the person you are, with the person you will be.  Don't forget yourself, cling to your morals, your values.  Make time for you, because if the person you see in the mirror is a person you don't like, or love, or know, no one else will be able to do those things, either.  You deserve it, you deserve you.

So read a book, or read twelve.  Take a bath, drink a glass of wine.  Go to church, go to a library, go to a movie.  Find a quiet moment to remember who you are and why you do the things you do.  Whatever it is, do it for you, and don't feel guilty for a second of it.  Love yourself.

God bless you.


New Nostalgia

36 comments:

  1. Enjoyed your healthy viewpoint. As a grandmother I agree with you. I am glad that you have found a writer's group!

    I'm visiting from Weekend Brew. Have a lovely weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! It's really lovely to be in a community of writers :) I hope you had a great weekend as well!

      Delete
  2. What a lovely post. It's funny how it really does cause guilty feelings to desire to tend to oneself. "Blanket of motherhood", I love it and so true. Thanks so much for sharing! (Visiting from Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways)

    ~Taylor-Made Ranch~
    Wolfe City, Texas

    www.taylormaderanch.com/blog

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lovely - it is okay to rest - in Him. Take time away from the world. Renew. Relax. Refresh. I love that you spend that time in a writers' group,.
    I am visiting from Still Saturday.
    Blessings,
    Janis

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Me too :) I've found that writing has been a way for me to explore my faith in ways that I didn't even expect. I'll be free writing and suddenly it's like God is using my pen! Funny how the left hand seldom knows what the right is doing...

      Delete
  4. I agree that moms must take times for themselves. I used to be horrible about it, but as I've gotten older I've understood how important it really is. I saw your post on bloggy moms and following you on GFC now. You can find me at

    http://wvfrugal-wvsaver.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's really been a struggle for me, but it's so important for us to get our own time! Thank you for stopping by!

      Delete
  5. It can be very easy for mothers to lose themselves in the role of motherhood- and while, I think motherhood does (and should) define us is so many ways (all of them good and holy)-- our family needs us to still be US too. When we truly use the gifts God gave us to serve Him in ways that take nothing away from our families but, instead allow us to serve them better in the process, it is a blessing for everyone involved! You are doing so well to understand all this when your son is still so young.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen. Thank you for your kind words and wisdom, and thank you for stopping by!

      Delete
  6. thank you for sharing, love it and great to hear from your point of view. God is Great! Look forward to reading more...:)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for sharing this post with The Weekend Brew. As a busy mom who works full time and ministry, it's so hard to find the time away. But I do believe God wants me to learn how to take care of myself and love on myself. And we are much better moms for it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Amen. This post could not be more relevant to my life than now. Between juggling life as a ministry wife and keeping up with my infant, I am tired. Today I took lots of me time & though I felt guilty (why do we women do that?), I also feel so refreshed and awakened to great possibilities. Thank you for your honesty, wisdom, and grace to lead others to happy reprieves!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Amen, blessed! Lovely wisdom mama!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you for sharing this! You are exactly right, too. Us mamas have to take a little time for ourselves, but boy is it hard. I really struggle with this since I work full-time and am already away from my child for so many hours every day; its hard for me to do things without her because I get precious little time with her. I'm trying to be better, though, because I know how important it is to take care of myself, too!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I struggle with Mommy guilt too:) Balance is hard to achieve. It is so true that we need to care for & rejuvenate ourselves. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wonderful heartfelt advice - I really love this post.

    I'd love you to link this up to my Inspire! Linkup. It happens every Monday and it's all about being inspired and being an inspiration.

    Sarah @ A Cat-Like Curiosity

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is a beautiful post and one that would have done me good over the years. Spending time renewing your spirit is a good thing for a mother. It is too easy to neglect this one!! Thanks for sharing.

    Oh...and I followed you over from What Joy Is Mine. Have a blessed week!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is going to sound so nerdy but I'm really excited you commented! I read your blog all the time. Thank you for stopping by!

      Delete
  14. You are so right! Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you for this post - I struggle with this all the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's really hard! I hope you're able to shed the mommy guilt and embrace your you time. <3

      Delete
  16. My husband insists (and I gratefully submit) that I take some time to do things that are good for me. Exercise, read good books, read my bible. Without his leadership I would lose myself in the to-do list!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My husband has been really supportive of my me time, too. I think he sees the difference in me when I get it :)

      Delete
  17. You're right, we do need time for ourselves now and then. I look forward to finding a few minutes to myself today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most definitely! Thank you for stopping by :)

      Delete
  18. Such great advice! Everyone needs a little time to do something they truly enjoy. And don't feel guilty for taking a little time to yourself.

    http://heidiswanderings.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's taken a little while but I finally don't get hit with the mom guilt so bad. Thank you for stopping by!

      Delete
  19. It is so easy to lose our identity in taking care of our families! Thank you for this reminder. Such an important one!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Such wisdom, Megan! This love of self is a journey, isn't it? I'm learning ever so slowly to let go of the guilt. Your words are balm. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love this post...you have a warm and honest writing voice. Enjoy your writing group! You are right...to be your best, you need to be filled up, too! Debbie @ ilovemylemonadelife.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. Megan...good reminder that we moms need time to rejuvenate and breathe. Thank you for sharing at WJIM. Have a blessed day in the Lord.

    ReplyDelete
  23. This is definitely a great reminder. As my kids are leaving the toddler years, I am finding it easier to take that time that I know I need. About a year and a half ago I started waking up super early to have some quiet time in the morning before the hustle and bustle of a full house begins, and it has made a world of difference for me, basking in that quiet time.

    ReplyDelete
  24. From a mom of 9...all I can say is, THANK YOU!!

    ReplyDelete