I've been avoiding this post for the past week because I know it is late and I feel like I've failed a bit. I spent the whole drive down from Orange County writing it in my head, a double week of tea because I owed it to myself and to you to write it. But when I found out that Dani died, I was too sad. I'm still too sad. I feel like I've forgotten all the words to the song I wrote and have nothing but a waning melody. And she's a dog and I feel a little bit silly for being burdened with such sorrow especially since I live on a ranch and I knew this would happen, but I can't help it. I can't help my emotions.
To be honest, me from the past would have been worried. So much of my faith has hinged around dogs and their deaths. I'm not that person anymore, my faith goes deeper than fur. It's still hard though. I've tried to have faith, and find peace in the fact that Dani and Sadie and Jovie all get to be together.
My mom and I made a list today of all the dogs we've had and lost over the last twenty years or so. It was 27, in case you were wondering. 27 dogs that lived and died in our care. That's a lot of puppies, that's a lot of sadness for hearts to hold. And yet we keep going back, we keep getting dogs despite the fact that we have awful luck. We don't mean to be terrible dog owners, it just happens. You can't keep a hawk (which is what we're assuming took Dani) from stealing your pet, or a fire, or a pack of coyotes. It just happens. What are you going to do?
Now that I've been properly morose, I'll let the things I wrote before perhaps cheer you up. I've added to it, in the end to wrap things up the way they ended:
I've realized the timeline of my weekly tea post varies based on the caliber of week we've had. The busier the week (and subsequent weekend) the more likely this post is to fall on a weekday. I'd be horribly disappointed in myself if it wasn't for my sense of realism- it doesn't have to be perfect. I think that's the moral of this week's story, which is why this will be a combined cup of tea.
We've been hustling and bustling, working and writing and trying to keep up with the toddler and with the housework. I'm failing miserably at one of those things, but what else is new?
I think one of the most exciting parts of my week was hitting up the gym for the first time in ever. My mom, if you don't know her, is a happy, wonderful lady. She sees the light in every dark, she opens windows when other's shut doors. She's funny and fantastic and I think every life is better having known her. She is also a sadist. I took her cycle class on Friday and just about died. I almost puked and fainted at the same time, which probably would have killed me since I would have fallen off the bike. It was great though, it felt really nice being sore.
I am also proud to announce that I've gone over ten years, cavity free. My dentist didn't give me a prize, even though I asked for one. So I rewarded myself instead by buying cloth diapers, so everyone wins. Paul was also cavity free, and his reward was not having cavities. I liked my prize better.
I am the queen of prompts. It's actually making me wonder if I should have kept my writing blog separate from this one, because it seems to have taken over. I've lost a few facebook likes (oops) but I figure writing is who I am. If people don't like it, they can either skip those posts or skip my blog. Who needs haters, anyway? (Yeah, that goes for you, the two people who unliked my facebook page this week.)
We went up this weekend to visit with my out of towning in laws and to see my brother-in-law's thesis. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but whatever it was exceeded everything I had in mind. The film was incredible, the shots, the music, everything. It was the best film out of the five we watched, and that is my completely unbiased opinion. I'm extremely critical, and the only two things I could critique was the darkness (which was mostly on purpose) and the font for the intro credits (which goes to show you how nit picky I'm being.) As soon as it goes to festival (and it will, look for it) I'll be able to link up to it so all you lovely people can see it.
And now for your weekly photo dump: