I just clicked send on my first creative packet for grad school, which technically started yesterday. Now my work is out there, being critiqued by a professional who wants me to be the best writer I can be. It's awesome, so why I am so nervous?
I post my writing here all the time. I post imperfect writing. I rarely go back and proof because that's not the point for me here, the point is being here and being genuine, typos and grammar mistakes and all. That's the "human" part of it, I know I'm not perfect and I will never claim to be.
But professionally, I want to be perfect. My novel is my baby. It's been over ten years since it's inception in a spiral bound Hedwig notebook written only in Ticonderoga number two. In it's completion it was 251 handwritten pages. In it's second sort of draft it was fifty-two thousand words. In it's third inception it's just beginning, ten thousand words polished and primed for submission, for judgment and hopefully acceptance.
I'm not afraid of criticism. I welcome it. I want to be better. It's this part, the unknowing that gets me. This is a first impression, a shaking of literary hands. This is my first step into having a masters in creative writing, the first day in the rest of my life.
So yeah, hold me.