There's a funny thing about books. They aren't fireproof. Computers melt. Paper burns. But memories remain. She didn't write again until she was just shy of twenty-one, and when she did, she picked up that story and those characters and began to write. There were a lot of misses at first as she remembered the craft that she loved, editing and deleting and trying to stick to the soul of that story. It took three years, the bulk being completed in NaNoWriMo 2013.
Then she decided to stop talking in third person, because she realized it was getting weird.
Anyway, I finished my work in progress, Empress of A New Time and let it rest before starting on the editing process. This story is so close to my heart, it's parts of me that have since gone away. It's the representation of a dream that I had when I was young, completed once again. But it's messy, it's ugly. It's a tangle of tropes and characters that desperately need deeper development. There are darlings I need to kill. There are plot holes I need to fill. There is a lot of work that needs to be done.
And I'm not ready. I don't know if I'll ever be. As much as I love this story, it was conceived by a thirteen year old. At its core, it's a portal-prophecy-messiah fantasy, and at this moment it's a lot to change. The gnawing feeling I've had for almost twelve years has subsided and I feel good about putting it on the shelf to work on other projects.
I'm a better writer than when I started; I learned a lot with Empress. I learned about my process, I learned about character development, and I learned how wonderful it feels to reach the final chapter of a project. Even if I don't pick it back up again, it was a wonderful and rewarding process. We're all just learning to be better writers, page by page.
|These are my feels|